Tuesday, December 12, 2017

How I Survived This Horrible Year

2017 has been terrible. Worst depression year I've had in almost 20 years. Anxiety on top of that.

I've got a lot to be grateful for. Aside from tax headaches, the horribleness of this year hasn't been personal. Nobody's died. I haven't been evicted. My girlfriend's still dear to my heart.

But sometimes things can be going right and you still can't cope. Mental illness is funny like that. This world is a hard place to live in.

So how do I cope?


Doesn't work for everybody, but it does work for me.  My girlfriend says that when she's having a bad depression day, comedy is the last thing she wants to consume. It feels too trivial to her.  But I want the trivial.  I don't want to think about all the bad stuff in the world, all the hatred and the fear.  I want to laugh. I just want to laugh.

The top three things that kept me going throughout this horrible, terrible year are:

1. Mystery Science Theater 3000

I have my girlfriend to thank for this discovery. MST3K was barely on my radar when she introduced me to it. But as soon as I started watching old episodes, I was hooked.

In case you're not familiar, it's a show from the 90s (recently revived by Netflix) set in the not-too-distant future. A guy and his robot pals make fun of the best of the worst B movies and sci-fi flicks. It's deliriously hilarious.

Bad movies, clever remarks and robot friends--what's not to love?

Mystery Science Theater 3000 is the funniest goddamn thing I've seen... possibly ever.


2. Four Finger Discount

My sister turned me on to this wonderful Simpsons podcast. Being a huge fan of Golden Era Simpsons, I've really enjoyed reliving old episodes with two funny Australian boys.  Most of the people I spend time with are considerably older than I am, so it's great to vampire off their 20-something energy.

In every episode, Dando and Mitch review a different Simpsons episode. It goes in chronological order. New episodes are posted once a week.  They started with Season 1 and they're up to Season 6. That's commitment!

Four Finger Discount is my new favourite thing to listen to while washing dishes.

3. Frasier

I love Frasier so much that when I had a particularly good sales quarter a couple years ago, I bought the entire series on DVD. Every night, I go to bed with Frasier. I put it on and let it lull me into sleep. It helps my brain power down.

I'm not sure how many times I've watched the series in its entirety, but I'm not tired of it yet.

So I want to send my gratitude out into the universe, or at least into the internet. Thank you to everyone helped to create the media that soothes my mentally ill mind. Maybe you didn't know it when you were making robots or recording podcasts in your living room, but you've helped someone this year.

You've really helped me.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

The Very Surprising (some would say SHOCKING) November Bestsellers

We're talking Giselle Renarde paperbacks today, here at Donuts and Desires. And when I think PAPERBACKS, I think: remember everybody speculating a few years ago why ebooks were such hot sellers? Remember the theory that ebooks sold well because women could secretly squirrel erotica away on their e-readers so nobody would know they were reading dirty, dirty smut?

Oh, the fun of it all!

Well, I'd say the November print bestsellers poke a little hole in that theory, because we're talking dirty filthy smut people aren't afraid to be SEEN reading.  Unless they rip the covers off.  But why would you do that when they're sooo good-looking?

Tell us more about these saucy bestsellers, Giselle!

Okay, I will!

First up is a paperback for readers who adore anal erotica:


Adultery is a big-time no-no in the romance world, but this is EROTICA, baby: 


I've saved the best for last. I can only hope the people who purchase this next gem are reading it on city buses as we speak:


Thanks to all the books that played this month. There can only be so many bestsellers. But there's always room for honourable mentions, so big ups go out to:

Erotic Older Women
Taboo Hotel Sex Stories
Wedding Heat: Skinny Dipping

I couldn't be more proud. Fly, little paperbacks! Fly like the wind!

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

All the Way: A #Christmas #Menage #Erotic #Romance in Paperback and Large Print


Looking for a multicultural menage erotic romance for the holidays? ALL THE WAY has been around for a while now, but ebook only. I'm happy to tell you that's no longer the case. You can now buy ALL THE WAY as a standard paperback or in large print!

When Josie invites her high school boyfriend Kaz to stay with her family over the holidays, there are a few things she doesn't anticipate: Kaz admitting he's still a virgin after all these years? That's a weird surprise. Her husband Rob's attempt to give Kaz a little training in the hot tub? A weird and very sexy surprise. But after the married couple treats him to some of the best nights of his life, who will Kaz fall for?

A spicy menage romance from award-winning author Giselle Renarde.

Standard Paperback Edition: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1981291229?tag=dondes-20
Large Print Edition (16pt Calibri): https://www.amazon.com/dp/1981291423?tag=dondes-20

Monday, December 4, 2017

Marilyn in the Middle #Lesbian #Erotic #Romance #Audiobook

Best friends make the best girlfriends....

Jasmine's in love with her best friend Innes, but Innes is obsessed with Marilyn Monroe! Innes has even decided to dye her hair platinum blonde so she'll look more like the object of her affection. When Innes asks Jasmine to do the honors, of course she agrees. She's tired of playing second fiddle to a movie star, but maybe the intimacy of the act will give her the courage to tell her best friend how she really feels.

If this goes badly, Jasmine will lose not only the woman she loves, but her closest friend. But if Innes feels the same way, it could spell Happily Ever After for two best friends.

A steamy lesbian romance short from award-winning author Giselle Renarde.

Get your copy of the MARILYN IN THE MIDDLE audiobooks from:

Nook Audiobooks: https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/204717/marilyn-in-the-middle
Audible: https://www.audible.com/pd/Romance/Marilyn-in-the-Middle-Audiobook/B077MTGV62
TuneIn: https://tunein.com/radio/Marilyn-in-the-Middle-p1065155/
eStories: https://www.estories.com/audiobook/190720/Giselle-Renarde/Marilyn-in-the-Middle

Coming soon to many more audiobook retailers!

Sunday, December 3, 2017

#Audio #Erotica this December at http://Patreon.com/AudioErotica

Before we get to the schedule for December, I've got BIG NEWS!

There's a NEW $1 TIER at my Patreon page. If you can support me for $1/month, please do! You get to listen to a new audio erotica story the first Friday of every month. (If you want weekly audio erotica, that's still available for $4+/month, and I invite everyone to sign up today!)

Coming up in December:

December 1, 2017: COMING CLEAN (lesbian BDSM)
December 8, 2017: NAILED (more lesbian BDSM)
December 15, 2017: BAD BAD NAUGHTY BAD SANTA (lesbian spanking)
December 22, 2017: WHAT'S THAT UNDER THE MISTLETOE? (married-people Christmas fun)
December 29, 2017: DRY RUB (Femdom bondage erotica)

Audio Erotica is for patrons only, so join up today!


Friday, December 1, 2017

NEW SMUT! Trying on My Roommate’s Panties: First Time #Lesbian #Erotica

I've got a sweet Friday treat for ya!

Nicky grew up in a town so small everybody bought their underwear at the gas station. After moving to the big city, she discovered the joys of boutique shopping—vicariously, through her stylish roommate, Trisha. But what happens when Trisha catches Nicky trying on her fancy lace panties?

This story's been sitting on my hard drive for far too long, doing nothing for no one. So last night I thought: "Enough! It's time to push you out of the nest. Fly, little smut story, fly!"

TRYING ON MY ROOMMATE'S PANTIES is a lesbian sex story featuring ripped lace, multiple vibrators, pussy licking, anal action, and more. All packed into a tight little country mouse/city mouse tale.

Best part? It's only $0.99 right now (regardless of market), or free if you're a Kindle Unlimited subscriber. That won't last forever, so read it now, Now, NOW!

Exclusively at Amazon for the moment:
US https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077VPSDCZ?tag=dondes-20
UK https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B077VPSDCZ
CA https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B077VPSDCZ
AU https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B077VPSDCZ

Enjoy! Happy weekend! Love you!

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

How to Fail Miserably at Being Queer

Okay, let’s be clear about something: there’s no right or wrong way to be queer. But if you’re anything like award-winning queer Canadian author Giselle Renarde, you’ve got insecurities up the wazoo. Even when you’re proud of your sexuality, gender identity and presentation, it seems like there’s always a voice out there (or even one in your head) saying you’re not doing queerness right.

Giselle Renarde is a writer who’s been failing at everything since 2006. Her erotica and queer fiction have appeared in nearly 200 short story anthologies and published by two of the Big Five publishing houses, but don’t let that fool you. Giselle is a writer who knows how to fail—consistently and thoroughly!

At some point or another, we all feel like we’re failing. Maybe if we can feel united by our insecurities, there’s hope of moving past them!

How to Fail Miserably at Being Queer is FREE this week at...
KOBO https://www.kobo.com/ca/en/ebook/how-to-fail-miserably-at-being-queer
SMASHWORDS https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/758511
BN https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-fail-miserably-at-being-queer-giselle-renarde/1127448272?ean=2940154622209
...and many more ebook retailers!